THE founder of PETA has bequeathed a slice of her buttock to Prime Minister Anthony Albanese in her will, to protest mulesing in the Australia wool industry.
Ingrid Newkirk, who is still alive, also extended the offer to Mr Albanese's successor, according to the animal activist's last will and testament.
Mr Albanese was contacted about the animal activist's posthumous donation, however he did not respond.
The Australian Prime Minister was not the only prominent person listed to receive a piece of Ms Newkirk's body in her will, which also included:
- Part of her neck to King Charles III if he fails to cut ties with the pigeon racing (because the necks of losing birds are sometimes wrung).
- Part of her back to the Egyptian Tourism and Antiquities Minister (to symbolise the "backbreaking" work of donkeys, horses, and camels at the pyramids of Giza).
- A piece of her heart to Elon Musk to clone for himself, since his "cruel and deadly" Neuralink brain experiments on monkeys, pigs, rats, and sheep indicate that he doesn't have one.
- Her spine to trophy hunter Donald Trump Jr in the "hope that, if he had one, he might stop trying to prove his manhood by gunning down" animals.
- A portion of her skin, cured and fashioned into a leather belt and purse (to remind the world that the skin of humans is the same as that of other animals).
Other directions from Ms Newkirik's will remain include frying up her flesh (with onions) for a human barbecue and sawing off her remaining foot for an umbrella stand "like those made from elephants' feet that she saw while growing up in India".
Jamieson Murphy
Newcastle Herald news director. Interested in any and all yarns. Whisper g'day mate to me at jamieson.murphy@austcommunitymedia.com.au
Newcastle Herald news director. Interested in any and all yarns. Whisper g'day mate to me at jamieson.murphy@austcommunitymedia.com.au
